It really is funny how the advice and support we provide our children has a tendency to come back and bite us in the rear if we don’t actually stop and actually live up to that advice from time to time. I am a Sales Guy. I am addicted to the thrill of the hunt, finding a new contact, diving into the trials and tribulations that brought me in front of a new “believer” in what I am selling and then finding the way to weave the proper support for that person and their team of IT Professionals.
But as with anything, we start to get stale. We push too hard or we don’t push hard enough and then performance starts to wane…and for me when that starts to happen…I start to get WAY to analytical about how to get out of that funk. This week I was really trying to change things far to much but I knew that to achieve my next round of Personal and Professional Goals I had to roll up my sleeves and make things happen. I had to change what I was doing so I was going to double down and do a radical transformation of both myself, my style and well how I approached EVERYTHING.
I asked for help and direction to make sure that if I do the changes that I was thinking, I would not wonder too far off the direction that I could still be lead through the weeds if they appeared. In a meeting with my “Director” and well what an IDIOT I am. I have all the tools I need and have been doing just fine. Instead of Changing what I am doing, I just need to focus on the work I already have done, not go out and make more for myself.
Now to bring this back full circle my wife and I had given our 12 year old daughter 3 pieces of advise that all turned out to completely change the way she was looking at her life.
- She was struggling with Grade 7 math and the new concepts. When we asked her ” Have you asked your teacher for extra help?” she responded with…”No Daddy, what will that do?” Sure enough, she asked for help, got it and well despite not having any idea how work is graded…I have come to the conclusion that 4s and 3+ are far better than 3- and 2s.
- Her “boyfriend” affectionately known as “hubby bubby” around our house had broken up with her saying that he wanted to “giver her space”. Now this is her first Boy Girl Relationship that has gone beyond just friends…so understandably she was upset. But we gave the “If you love something, set it free. If it was meant to be it will return. If it doesn’t…hunt it down and Dad will take it out!” But amazingly…”hubby bubby” saw the error of his ways and well it is different but they are back together.
- Her Football Team…after an amazing start to the season has gone steadily downhill and has not had a win in the last 5 games. With the final game (a Consellation Championship) coming up she was upset that she was only on the field for 3 plays in 2 games. We once again told her…if you want help…you have to ask for it. If you want something more you have to ask for it. At practice on Thursday she went up to the Defensive Line Coach and laid it on the table “Coach, I didn’t get the Sack I promised you but I only had 3 plays to get it. What do I have to do to get more plays so I can get you that Sack?” And the Coach was all over her for the entire practice. Advise here, a push there. I saw more high fives for her than I had all season.
Moral of the story here. As much as we think we can run our lives in isolation and all by ourselves we can’t. Not being able to see the Forest for the Trees is only problem but I battle with the Hero Complex both for myself and with my clients EVERYDAY.
Help is rarely offered but almost never refused. Know yourself well enough to know your own shortcomings. If you want to get better…ASK FOR HELP.
Cheers and have a great Day!
Chris J Powell