As I sit here this morning, enjoying another cup of coffee and reflect back on what I have done with my life in the past 42 years I really don’t have many regrets, although the ones that I do have are pretty big. My life path has changed a few times over those years but I am, for the most part happy with where I sit today.
Later this morning I head off on an interview. I don’t know much about the company or its product and I know that the job itself will be relatively hum drum but considering the health issues that I have been battling with, right now a pay check is what I need, not a life changing career that will have be being an international globe trotting superstar.
In the past, I have worked really hard to be the best in what ever profession I was in that itself has caused me a lot of stress and had me setting expectations upon myself that were not only difficult to live up to, but also set the stage for disappointment and a closer scrutiny and higher expectations from my bosses. This time around, I am really going to focus on being nothing more than one of the worker bees. Just get by, live life like the 99% and see where that path takes me for a while.
You see, the expectations of others is something that I can tend to manage pretty well, it is the expectations that I set for myself that lead to my downfall. I want to know how things work, I like to look at the mechanism of the process and tear it apart and see how I can work within the given parameters. That for me is fun…to a point, then it becomes a never ending cycle of looking at the math, tweaking and finding out that things that look simple, never are.
This time around, my fresh start is going to be different. I have commitments that I need to honor and that is exactly what I will do. Will this be forever…not a chance but for now…it is getting through the day, and that is all I need to do!