Chris J Powell

Depression and Anxiety Mixed with Pain

It has been a rough ride for me for the past several months.  From a 4 month head ache, to an abscessed tooth to a flare up of my Psoriasis I have been left with an immutable amount of confusion and frustration over the current state of my life.  All of this combined with a job that saw me making less and less despite doing and accomplishing more and more, the rabbit hole that is my Anxiety came full force and drove me deep into the underground that I sometimes find myself in. It was my personal battle with Anxiety that has had me in and out of jobs and unfortunately there does not seem to be a real solution to “getting better”, and when you mix in the amount of real pain that I am in EVERY DAY it leaves me wondering what good am I doing for anyone. Then I take a step back and realize that I am not the only one going through these challenges, and I am definitely not the worst off out there, but … Read more

Not Myself Today

The past couple of days have been more challenging than normal for me (or at least what my new normal is).  For those who don’t know me well and for those just stumbling upon this site for the first time…I have a couple of not so unique challenges that I face every day and every day those challenges are things that I need to over come just to be able to breath and put on a brave face.  The cathartic nature of writing though does help me put many things into perspective and so I put hand to keyboard to let some of the challenges I face be shared with you. There are lots of memes out there that go through the process of the wounds that many of us carry and that the deepest scars are the ones that can not be seen, those that live below the skin and tug at the very things that make us able to interact, live and be around others. For the most part, my life is pretty good, I don’t have a … Read more

Today, Tomorrow and Forever!

OK so this is a Tech Blog…for the most part.  I take the time each Monday to express and share some of the challenges, struggles and hard fought battles that I have gone through with my own inner struggle with Anxiety, Depression and Loss.  The past 6 months have been a real challenge for me but despite hitting rock bottom (or at least I hope that it was rock bottom) about 7 weeks ago, I am coming out of it stronger, better and amazingly enough…medication free. Here in London, Canada (and for the most part all across this great country) there is a shortage of Psychiatrists.  I have been on a waiting list to get in to see one for 18 months now and when my family doctor prescribed several different Anxiety medications to me last year, I couldn’t help but feel like I was just being pushed out the revolving door for the next patient.  The underlying issues were still there and the triggers that caused the Stress, Anxiety and Depression were still an ever present threat to my … Read more

The Layers that Make Up All Of Us

I am finding it increasingly hard to sit down at the computer and not open up completely and just lay everything out about me in one fell swoop.  Sure it would take me several hours to complete and would probably be among the most boring works of non-fiction ever put out there but then I could say it is done and over with…this is Krispy. But where would the fun be in that. As much as I dislike sharing, I have found that every little glimpse that I provide into who I am is a cathartic release for me in the metamorphosis that is taking place in my life.  In many ways I hope that I am much like the ugly caterpillar who at the end of its growth will go to sleep in its chrysalis and awake a butterfly…but then reality sets in and I realize that the pain that I have gone through, the challenges that I have faced, have brought me to this place, a cross roads and it is not about destiny or fate…it is about … Read more

The Pursuit of Happiness – Part One

There are many times in my 41 years on this planet that I wish I had a do over.  The past seven months have been a roller coaster of emotional traumas and the events that have transpired have forced me to really think and evaluate what is important to me.  I have read books, watched documentaries and tried to figure out the meaning of it all and amazingly, I think I have postulated the answer that I need right now…and that is… The one thing that I am finding though is that saying it and being it are two distinctly different things. Losing my job in September…that was like a body blow from Mike Tyson.  It left a huge void, but at the same time it opened up new worlds of possibilities…but then jumping into another Sales Job in December…it wasn’t what I wanted and I was just trying to fill the void and it left an ever expanding empty feeling inside.  This void caused continuous conflict in my life that was neither healthy or productive.  Even though things were … Read more