Chris J Powell

Life Hands You a Lemon…What do You Do???

Life Hands You a Lemon…What do You Do???

Life can be a cruel and fickle task master some times and the past 32 days has proven that life is not all rosy, in fact this past month has been by far the most challenging that I have experienced.  The amount of loss that I am experiencing right now, at this moment is almost too much to bear…and that is what has landed me firmly in the hands of a Mental Health In Patient Facility! For anyone who may feel that there is no where to turn, and that life has you to the darkest depths of you own existence, reach out…to whom ever will listen.  Ask and Ask and Ask again until someone listens. For many years, I pushed down the deep and powerful feeling that I had no business being here anymore and the world would be better off without me.  I choked that feeling down, chewing and stewing as I went.  That pit and ball of anxiety and depression bubbling up from time to time that left me a little more broken. In July of 2015 … Read more

Depression and Anxiety Mixed with Pain

Depression and Anxiety Mixed with Pain

It has been a rough ride for me for the past several months.  From a 4 month head ache, to an abscessed tooth to a flare up of my Psoriasis I have been left with an immutable amount of confusion and frustration over the current state of my life.  All of this combined with a job that saw me making less and less despite doing and accomplishing more and more, the rabbit hole that is my Anxiety came full force and drove me deep into the underground that I sometimes find myself in. It was my personal battle with Anxiety that has had me in and out of jobs and unfortunately there does not seem to be a real solution to “getting better”, and when you mix in the amount of real pain that I am in EVERY DAY it leaves me wondering what good am I doing for anyone. Then I take a step back and realize that I am not the only one going through these challenges, and I am definitely not the worst off out there, but … Read more

Hitting the Pause Button

Hitting the Pause Button

How I wish that life had a Pause Button…or even better a Rewind Button.  This past week has been more than a little tough and has caused me more than a little confusion and pain because as we enter into the Holiday Season….this will be the first time that I will be doing it all without my family.  Sure, I am building a new future and will have nearly two weeks with my wonderful daughter but the concept of walking everywhere does not really apply when those who you should spend the holidays with are all a 24 hour trek up the road. My hitting the Pause Button this week on nearly all of my online activities has meant a little bit too much time to reflect on what my future will hold and the wrong path’s I have taken in the past. To all who I may have wronged…I would like to say I am sorry but I am not going to dwell on what happened…only on what will happen. The challenges and struggles that we each face are as … Read more

Not Myself Today

Not Myself Today

The past couple of days have been more challenging than normal for me (or at least what my new normal is).  For those who don’t know me well and for those just stumbling upon this site for the first time…I have a couple of not so unique challenges that I face every day and every day those challenges are things that I need to over come just to be able to breath and put on a brave face.  The cathartic nature of writing though does help me put many things into perspective and so I put hand to keyboard to let some of the challenges I face be shared with you. There are lots of memes out there that go through the process of the wounds that many of us carry and that the deepest scars are the ones that can not be seen, those that live below the skin and tug at the very things that make us able to interact, live and be around others. For the most part, my life is pretty good, I don’t have a … Read more

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