There are times in our lives that we have to muscle through things that we really don’t want to have to do. In my 42 years there have been a few instances like this but nothing in all my years was as difficult as being asked by my Mother to be her emergency contact when she went in to the London Health Sciences Centre for her second all out battle with Cancer.
So as she went into the hospital yesterday for what was described as t 12-14 hour procedure, I did like any good son would do and I listened to my Mommy and went to work. It was hard but it was a Monday and as usual it was really busy so I had lots of things to distract me from thinking about all the “worst case scenarios” that I could come up with. You see, part of my General Anxiety Disorder that I suffer from is an innate need to over plan for as many eventualities as possible so that I have a game plan ready (actually I am not sure if it is the GAD or if it is just the Tactician in me) but because of that…as the minutes ticked by…I couldn’t help but slip into the worst case scenarios…and as much as I was looking forward to the call that would eventually come…I didn’t want it too early because that could not be a good thing.
And then when I was wrapping things up with my last customer of the day, my cell phone rings and I see “Private Number”. My heart sinks…it is only at the 10th hour…this can’t be good…something is wrong.
The call is from Dr. John Yoo one of the most highly respected Oncology Surgeons in Canada and when he said:
“The Surgery went exactly as we planned.”
It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and despite the challenges that seemed to be mounting all around me, I knew that there was light at the end of the tunnel and even though everything in my body and heart said run to the light…there was a part of me that likes to be in the darkness…you see when you live your life planning for the worst…it really is a nice feeling to find out that the over planning…let you open the door for some good things to come in!
While I don’t think I will ever stop over planning…I have learned that there is a need to stop and smell the roses…which is why I think I enjoy my walks to and from work each day. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and get lost in my own head as I prepare for my day…and on the way home reflect on my personal life.
Thank you Dr. Yoo. You have given the 5 Powell Boys back their mother!