As part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge it was suggested that we look to Inspiration itself for some inspiration and you know what…what a great idea. For me I am not into the Rah, Rah, Sis Boom Bah motivation that gets some people motivated and pumped up. I know strange that a Sales Guy does not get charged up when someone starts to shake and genuflect at the front of a room. For me I am that quietly disarming guy that sits in the back of the room never wanting credit or condolence but I do have a overwhelming passion for some things that bubbles to the top when I get agitated.
The fact is I find those leaders who lead by waving their arms and flexing their prowess to be the opposite of motivating and ignore much of the message that is conveyed. I look for my inspiration from the little things. I love to analyze and project (look to the future if you will) and for every scenario I get involved in I tend to plan and plot and look at as many angles as possible before making the commitment.
This long term plan and goal setting has established me as a good salesperson (others may say great…and for that I am appreciative but great is what I strive to become, not what I am) but there is times that the focus and attention that I invest in my own “Game Theory” clouds my judgement and makes it hard to see other hazards. For me, inspiration this week came in the form of a loss of control, in a public setting. I am not going to get into the details but lets just say that the “Tech Sales Guy” came very close to returning to be just the “Tech Guy”!
Now the cause and effect of my actions had already been played out in my head before what happened and I really did think that I had a solid game plan and new how I would react…boy was I wrong!
Emotions are not something that I like to share but considering the passion and drive that I have…lately they have been bubbling to the top more and more both at home and at work and this has lead to conflict, tension and stress 24 hours per day.
So now to the inspiration part of this message. I learned from my own error in judgement that as much as I like to think I can control EVERYTHING around me…I can’t. The situations and challenges that I face in my career and my life can not be forever put into separate boxes especially when the boxes are just not big enough to hold all the crap that has been accumulated.
I was inspired this week to seek positive change in myself, in my career and in my family. I know that I have the potential to be Great…but I have built barriers that have in the past prevented me from moving forward. It might be a dirty little secret but we all go to the doctor when we are sick (I wait until near death but hey…I am stubborn) but mental illness is not something to be taken lightly either and as I have found out…there is help out there.
As far as a formal apology to those that I impacted with my poor judgement this week…I am very sorry. I did not handle the stress in my life appropriately and had a reaction that was both over the top and inappropriate. I have to pay for this mistake and to all of you who were negatively impacted by my actions I am doing this as a single stage apology, if you know me well enough you know that was not me but some sort of doppelganger that took over momentarily but I have to own the action and I have.
Tomorrow is another day and is the first day and the first step to my own Greatness.
Also I wanted to dedicate this week to my Great Grandmother who after 94 years of bringing joy and happiness to the world has left the earthly bonds and has gone to a better place. You will be missed and will always hold a special place in my heart.
Chris J Powell